Before discussing Autistic’s and Aspie’s asocial tendencies, we must first distinguish the differences asocial behavior from antisocial. According to the Merriam-Webster’s dictionary that is included with my Encyclopædia Britannica software:
aso•cial \(")ā-'sō-shəl\ adj (1883): not social: as a: rejecting or lacking the capacity for social interaction b: antisocial
an•ti•so•cial \"an-tē-'sō-shəl, "an-"tī-\ adj (1797)
1: averse to the society of others: unsociable
2: hostile or harmful to organized society; esp: being or marked by behavior deviating sharply from the social norm
— an•ti•so•cial•ly \-shə-lē\ adv
In short, asocial means that your apathetic towards society while antisocial means that your hostile towards it. It is interesting to note that the Merriam-Webster’s seems to suggest that there is an antisocial social element to asocial behavior. Many of my asocial Aspie friends may object to this assertion, but I was actually picking up on this trend long before I did the research for this article. I will explain why in the third part of this series of three articles.
Before I address that issue, I want to address the question as to why do many believe that Autistics and Aspies are asocial by nature. Part of it may stem from Autism being a unique neurological configuration. As I explained in a previous post, the brain has millions of neural receptors that send of singles to all parts of the body. In the Autistic/Aspie Brain, some of these receptors are less active then in a neural typical brain. Many of these receptors are in the frontal lobe which controls speech and social development. Some might conclude that less activity in the areas that tied into social development might lead to an asocial personality.
Just as there are some receptors in the Autistic/Aspie brain that are less active compared to a neural typical brain, there are others that are more active. Many of these are in the areas of the brain that effect sensory perceptions. Because of this, many Autistics and Aspie are hypersensitive to various stimuli. There is one member of my Aspie support group that has insanely sensitive hearing. She says that she is often woken out of her sleep by her neighbor’s AC unit kicking on. She also says that she can also hear the dog whistle that are at such a high frequency that humans are not supposed to be able to her them.
It is one thing to have hypersensitivity to hearing, but what about touch. There are a number of Autistics and Aspies that are tactile defensive, which simple means that they don’t like to be touched. My mom says that I was like this as an infant. If this is true, then I have defiantly out grown it. I have heard some say that they can get a bit claustrophobic in large crowds. I believe that I can get that way when I am trying to walk through crowded areas. Some might say that such behavior might be considered asocial.
My personally belief as to why Autistics/Aspies tend to be asocial is grounded in my Twelve Step background while confronting my issues related to my codependency. Step 4 of the program requires us to take “a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves.” Part of this is to examine our past actions. Not only what we did, but why. It was obvious to anyone who has heard me share in the meeting that the VERBAL and EMOTIONAL ABUSE that I endured, especially at the hand of my peers, had a devastating impact my self esteem as well as my willingness to socialize with my ABUSERS.
I can still distinctly recall two specific occasions when I concluded that I the only way I could avoid being made fun of for what I said was to say nothing. I would hide inside this shell until I became lonely after sometime and reach out of my sell only to endure a resumption of the ABUSE. I kept going in and out of these shells on numerous occasions during my childhood because, deep in my heart of hearts, I had the same desire for love and acceptance and any neural typical. I did not choose to be asocial because I found it preferable, but I instead ran into it for my own EMOTIONAL SELF-PRESERVATION.
Unfortunately, going into an asocial shell was not every effect means of EMOTIONAL SELF- PRESERVATION for me as a child. After all, I still had to go out in public where I would cross paths with these ABUSERS who had unrestricted access to me at school. Eventually, this never ending onslaught of ABUSE resulted in me being suicidal from the time I was eleven years old until I was fourteen. I would sometimes stand in the bathroom; look into the mirror and reciting ever viscous word that my peers said about me and believing them to be true. It is a well known fact that Autistics and Aspies are what the experts like to call “bullied” in school. This is a “kids will be kids” term that easy for many teachers to say to minimize it as a “fact of life” that no one can do much about. However, doing so makes them oblivious to the emotional devastations caused by this ABUSE. Teachers need recognize “bulling” for what it is and calling it what it is, “ABUSE!”
Autistics and Aspies are not the only ones who have been abuse. During my years in Twelve Step meetings, I have meet a lot of neural typicals who were PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY ABUSED by parents, boyfriends, husbands, other relatives, friends, neighbors, strangers, etc. Based and sitting and listening to the neural typicals describe how these ABUSIVE acts affected them, it is obvious to me that abuse effect them the same way it affects us. This includes many of them developing asocial personalities as a means of SURVIVING their ABUSE as well.
This is why I am not sold on the idea that the Autistics and Aspies asocial tendencies are connected to neurology, but the ABUSE that is common to so many of us.
aso•cial \(")ā-'sō-shəl\ adj (1883): not social: as a: rejecting or lacking the capacity for social interaction b: antisocial
an•ti•so•cial \"an-tē-'sō-shəl, "an-"tī-\ adj (1797)
1: averse to the society of others: unsociable
2: hostile or harmful to organized society; esp: being or marked by behavior deviating sharply from the social norm
— an•ti•so•cial•ly \-shə-lē\ adv
In short, asocial means that your apathetic towards society while antisocial means that your hostile towards it. It is interesting to note that the Merriam-Webster’s seems to suggest that there is an antisocial social element to asocial behavior. Many of my asocial Aspie friends may object to this assertion, but I was actually picking up on this trend long before I did the research for this article. I will explain why in the third part of this series of three articles.
Before I address that issue, I want to address the question as to why do many believe that Autistics and Aspies are asocial by nature. Part of it may stem from Autism being a unique neurological configuration. As I explained in a previous post, the brain has millions of neural receptors that send of singles to all parts of the body. In the Autistic/Aspie Brain, some of these receptors are less active then in a neural typical brain. Many of these receptors are in the frontal lobe which controls speech and social development. Some might conclude that less activity in the areas that tied into social development might lead to an asocial personality.
Just as there are some receptors in the Autistic/Aspie brain that are less active compared to a neural typical brain, there are others that are more active. Many of these are in the areas of the brain that effect sensory perceptions. Because of this, many Autistics and Aspie are hypersensitive to various stimuli. There is one member of my Aspie support group that has insanely sensitive hearing. She says that she is often woken out of her sleep by her neighbor’s AC unit kicking on. She also says that she can also hear the dog whistle that are at such a high frequency that humans are not supposed to be able to her them.
It is one thing to have hypersensitivity to hearing, but what about touch. There are a number of Autistics and Aspies that are tactile defensive, which simple means that they don’t like to be touched. My mom says that I was like this as an infant. If this is true, then I have defiantly out grown it. I have heard some say that they can get a bit claustrophobic in large crowds. I believe that I can get that way when I am trying to walk through crowded areas. Some might say that such behavior might be considered asocial.
My personally belief as to why Autistics/Aspies tend to be asocial is grounded in my Twelve Step background while confronting my issues related to my codependency. Step 4 of the program requires us to take “a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves.” Part of this is to examine our past actions. Not only what we did, but why. It was obvious to anyone who has heard me share in the meeting that the VERBAL and EMOTIONAL ABUSE that I endured, especially at the hand of my peers, had a devastating impact my self esteem as well as my willingness to socialize with my ABUSERS.
I can still distinctly recall two specific occasions when I concluded that I the only way I could avoid being made fun of for what I said was to say nothing. I would hide inside this shell until I became lonely after sometime and reach out of my sell only to endure a resumption of the ABUSE. I kept going in and out of these shells on numerous occasions during my childhood because, deep in my heart of hearts, I had the same desire for love and acceptance and any neural typical. I did not choose to be asocial because I found it preferable, but I instead ran into it for my own EMOTIONAL SELF-PRESERVATION.
Unfortunately, going into an asocial shell was not every effect means of EMOTIONAL SELF- PRESERVATION for me as a child. After all, I still had to go out in public where I would cross paths with these ABUSERS who had unrestricted access to me at school. Eventually, this never ending onslaught of ABUSE resulted in me being suicidal from the time I was eleven years old until I was fourteen. I would sometimes stand in the bathroom; look into the mirror and reciting ever viscous word that my peers said about me and believing them to be true. It is a well known fact that Autistics and Aspies are what the experts like to call “bullied” in school. This is a “kids will be kids” term that easy for many teachers to say to minimize it as a “fact of life” that no one can do much about. However, doing so makes them oblivious to the emotional devastations caused by this ABUSE. Teachers need recognize “bulling” for what it is and calling it what it is, “ABUSE!”
Autistics and Aspies are not the only ones who have been abuse. During my years in Twelve Step meetings, I have meet a lot of neural typicals who were PHYSICALLY, VERBALLY, EMOTIONALLY and SEXUALLY ABUSED by parents, boyfriends, husbands, other relatives, friends, neighbors, strangers, etc. Based and sitting and listening to the neural typicals describe how these ABUSIVE acts affected them, it is obvious to me that abuse effect them the same way it affects us. This includes many of them developing asocial personalities as a means of SURVIVING their ABUSE as well.
This is why I am not sold on the idea that the Autistics and Aspies asocial tendencies are connected to neurology, but the ABUSE that is common to so many of us.
Asocial does not necessarily mean apathetic. I am very empathetic and deeply care about others and don't want them to get hurt or anything. I just don't like socializing.
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